Zen and the art of taking the piss

A most honourable activity.

As it’s Suzuka this weekend, I thought I’d indulge my literary side and think up some topical,
F1 themed Haikus. For those of us not aware (I had to Google it), a Haiku is a Japanese verse,
formed from 3 lines. Each line has a set number of syllables, in the following order 1st line 5, 2nd line
7, third line 5. Traditionally, they are used to ‘set a scene’ but can also be used for humerous
purposes.

Below is a compilation of some of my own and the best of those that I’ve seen others do over the
last couple of days. They come from a varity of places, Twitter, Facebook and Internet Forums. Some of
them are absolutely fantastic. Enjoy.

Generic F1:

Cars go round the track
They are all quite fast aren’t they?
Time for Sunday Roast.

hot places to be
are the cars in the grand prix
bound to get sweaty

poor sad safety car
always in front, never first
he cries petrol tears

zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom
zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom
zoom, zoom, chequered flag

out lap use mirrors
you block alonso badly
grid drop your reward

pitlane is busy
lollypop man brave hero
prime or option tyre

Title Fight:

Rivals fighting hard
will it end in tears for one ?
Bernies laughing hard

it’s a five horse race
title fight not yet over
except for massa

the season draws in
the sacred F1 tarmac
who will win this time?

Suzuka:

So now to Japan
Crazy Koby for the win?
Yeah, probably not

No Jake this weekend
Lee steps up to fill his shoes
We still have Ledgard

Suzuka racing.
Flying down the straights and bends.
Cars sometimes fall off.

Rain could make this fun
Japanese grid girls: do want!
Mclaren to win!

home race for sakon
no longer stopped by poison
he’ll arrive back row

wheel on a wet kerb
petrov off spectacular
majestic gravel

spoon 130r
track has magical corners
and a ferris wheel

2010 F1 events:

Webber, head long rush
Into the first corner, oh
What a fucking tit !

Alonso complains
he is the number one guy
fans roll eyes to sky.

And this is CRUCIAL
The battle has now been joined
Thus speaketh Legard

Ferrari redness
No need for those penalties
Choc ice Kimi Fest

Slow moving Lotus
Mark Webber far too hasty
Upside down Red Bull

made with CFD
the Virgin is elegant
it’s not that fast though

shark nose no sponsors
heidfeld’s hair luxurious
can nick finish well?

neat blue and white car
rubens fancies points finish
beware of hulk smash

red bull fast again
with mighty wings and aero
good newey design

cherryblossoms fall
like Schumi down the timesheets
he has understeer

Many thanks to @racing_waiting, Emily Phillips, Emily Evans and Rllmukforum users Myoozikk,
sidewaysbob, dayte, eighthours, p1nseeker, Arc’Tan’Gent, Iron Chicken for all their
contributions.

Can you think of any?

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